While this blog post doesn't specifically address the issue of Roe v Wade and abortion rights, indirectly the things I'm offering herein do. Given that the U.S. Supreme Court appears ready to overturn Roe v Wade, I'm hoping what is being presented will bring a little bit of perspective as to why so many folks appear to be focusing in on how religion and religious beliefs appear to be guiding at least some of the justices of the U.S. Supreme Court in their decision-making process.
Some people say everyone needs religion. Others say not so much. When does it become problematic one way or the other? I believe it becomes very problematic when someone tries to force-feed their version of religion onto others.
I read somewhere there are something like thirty to forty thousand denominations classified as part of the Christian religion worldwide. Think about that for a second - or take as long as you need to digest this nugget of information. It's actually pretty intimidating on its face.
Why are there so many? Are their beliefs really that different from each other? Within each denomination there are other sub-denominations. Why is that? This is just so very confusing on so many levels. And it's not unique to Christianity, either.
Each and every religion teaches some form of peace. And, yet we have war between and amongst these religions - vicious all out atrocity filled genocidal war. That just doesn't make any sense to me. I saw a cartoon that illustrated this conundrum perfectly:
Slogans like the following are commonplace:
God, country, guns! Yeah, baby! More guns! God wants it that way. You ain't a patriot if you don't believe in God, country, and guns - for some, not necessarily in that order.
God hates fags! Gotta say, this one makes me sick to my stomach.
You're going to HELL if you aren't a born again Christian! Say what?! What IS Hell, anyway? The Pope, himself, is saying there ain't no such thing.
Hatred isn't exclusively Christian, either:
Buddhists target Muslims in Sri Lanka. Buddhists target Muslims? Buddhists are supposed to be peaceful, meditation kinds of guys. This can't be right. But, it IS.
Violence in Hinduism. Hinduism? Don't they believe in reincarnation? Don't be stepping on those insects, hear. They might be a relative.
Are these truly religious values? If it is, I gotta wonder........
So, where am I going with all of this?
By now, many of you following my blog know I'm a Columbine Dad. We're a Columbine and Platte Canyon family. Our journey of healing has been long and arduous to say the least.
Following the massacre at Columbine High School, my life and the lives of my kids were turned upside down when my first wife took her own life with a gun six months later. After that, our wheels came off completely.
In my loss and confusion, I turned to religion for answers - the religion of Christianity to be specific. The denomination doesn't matter for purposes of this writing.
I wasn't a very religious person before these events, and I really didn't have time following them to be very religious either. I didn't go to church very much before, and the only time I went to church after was for my first wife's funeral.
I started reading the Bible. I vowed to read it all the way through.
Prayers became a nightly ritual for me: "God! Give me some kind of a sign, anything at all, so that I'll be able to survive this torture and still be there for my kids."
Every single night, these words, thoughts, and emotions were communicated through prayer. Every...single...night.
But, I'll be very honest here - I didn't get any answers - at least conscious answers.
There were no miracles for me, or so I believed at the time. For my daughter there were many. For my Son, his escape physically unharmed was a miracle in and of itself. For me? I still live with survivor's guilt because I was so very far away when all of this went down at their school.
There were no overt signs that God was even listening when I tried to talk with him, especially when I looked back at how our personal lives suffered following the suicide of my first wife. I guess it would be fair to say I was just a little bit angry about what had come our way. But that might also be an understatement, too.
I'd struggled with my beliefs and my doubts ever since I was a child. None of that mattered now, though. Churches of many denominations came to our aid. None of them cared that my family wasn't of their church or religious denomination. Everyone pulled together and helped any way they could.
That's not to say there weren't any controversies. The crosses erected and torn down because they included the shooters who wrecked havoc on so many lives is just one example. There were many more I won't go into here because the one involving the crosses is a stickler for me, personally. And, no, I won't talk about it here.
Still nothing from God, though. Waiting, but no word. No sign. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
Extreme gratitude for what everyone did? Very much so. Some kind of sign that God, somehow had a hand in all of this? Not so much.
One could say the churches and other organizations that did so very, very much for everyone affected were acting through God in doing their incredibly generous, caring aid and assistance. I guess that would be logical. I just wasn't feeling it, though.
I looked at the people who were doing all of this and marveled at their generosity, at their caring, at their genuine concern for us. Even shed some tears of gratitude for what they did for so long. For some reason, though, I didn't feel that that was coming from God. I saw it as coming from their own hearts through that free will so many now talk about when it comes to God's relationship with mankind....that free will that allows human beings to either be kind and loving to each other as is the case with most human beings. Or, that free will that allows some human beings to commit terrible, vicious, violent atrocities against some of their fellow human beings....like the shooters of Columbine, for example. That's what I saw. That's what I kept on seeing. And that's what I'm still seeing to this very day.
Wow, this is getting way longer than I intended it to. The reason I'm posting this here now, today, so long after the actual massacre we experienced is because I still feel a need to continue to try and find answers and to try to banish my own demons somehow regarding my own Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, my ongoing doubts about so many things, and my need for some modicum of closure of some sort.
Then, my miracle happened. Her name is Katherine. She is the one most important, singular thing that happened in my life that moved me forward, personally. She brought a sense of spirituality, of inner beauty, with her I had never experienced before. It didn't rely on religion. It didn't rely on a church. It was within her. She exuded spirituality and an inner beauty, and she shared both of them willingly with anyone and everyone she met, including me. This wonderful woman did more for so many than anyone will ever know except for a small inner circle of family and friends. Expressing gratitude to her for what she did, and continues to do for so many, both inside and outside our nuclear family just doesn't seem like it's enough somehow. She leads by example. She lives the kind of life she hopes others may be able to also live. And, more importantly than that, she tries every day of her life to help others realize their dreams for themselves. She is an extraordinary woman in so many, many ways. And I love her dearly for who she is and for everything she does.
Now, I'm going to ask some questions. I hope those reading this can find it within themselves to look at these questions honestly and contribute their own thoughts, perspectives, and experiences.
Question #1: When someone, anyone, suffers a traumatic event, is it commonplace for them to search out religion in their grief and their confusion? If so, why? If not, why not?
Question #2: Is it possible that churches, themselves, sometimes take advantage of those types of situations, or are their intentions pure in helping the way they do? Again, if so, why? If not, why not?
Question #3: If mankind has free will as granted by God, do some also use that free will to do harm to others secure in the knowledge their acts, no matter how heinous they may be, will ultimately be forgiven anyway?
These aren't easy questions to answer honestly. I don't know of any churches anywhere that don't have some level of outreach and charitable activities. But, in my experience, I also know of some churches that did some pretty awful things following the massacre that has come to be known simply as one word...Columbine.
I turned to religion for help. In doing so, one might say I found my own individual spirituality. It didn't ultimately include belonging to a church or embracing a specific religion or denomination. My spirituality is still under development thanks to those who love me as much as they do - my wife, my kids, my extended family and friends. And I do thank God for all of them.
Religion can, and much of the time does, include spirituality. They are not, however, mutually exclusive nor inclusive. From my perspective, the following is so very, very true:
And all of this is why I'm so confused and worried about the current situation at the U.S. Supreme Court. It's not limited solely to Roe v Wade being overturned. There are so many other rights at stake beyond abortion. If anyone out there thinks otherwise and that those rights are safe, I would posit they haven't been paying attention.
My two cents.....
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