Compassion: A Double Edged Sword

 

My Two Cents: Compassion – A Double Edged Sword

Having compassion for others suffering from some form of trauma is a good thing, right? 

Acting on our compassion to try and help out is what some say life is all about…especially if the recipients are people we don’t even know.

That appears to be the case with a teacher battling cancer who ran out of sick days while dealing with issues surrounding his treatment regimen.

According to the article that was published in December 2018:

“The Florida public school teacher figured he needed at least 20 additional sick days to deal with more chemotherapy, days he just didn't have.”

The teacher, Robert Goodman, took a selfie, asked for help, and posted on Facebook. The results of his plea were simply amazing! When fellow teachers saw his plea for help, they donated some of their sick days to him. Within four days, he’d been given far more than the 20 days he’d requested.

Mr. Goodman returned to his classroom 11 months later. I haven't been able to find any further updates on his situation, but, his Facebook page is still active. I’d like to believe the sick days donated by his fellow educators played a role in his survival – compassion personified.

I and my family were also recipients of compassion following the Columbine massacre.

I won’t go into the details, but suffice to say the initial response to that horrific event by a galvanized community and nation was enormous.

Double edged swords have two edges; one favorable and the other not so much. Mr. Goodman’s experience and my own as recipients of compassion given by others are two examples of what favorable edges of double edged swords can look like.

As time went on post-Columbine, though, volunteers became exhausted by the sheer magnitude of what they were trying to do. A kind of compassion ‘fatigue’ set in.

Their exhaustion caused them to gradually withdraw from further volunteer work related to Columbine. 

That’s not a bad thing, really. It was time, in fact.

There were many in the community opining it was long past time. 

This is where the other edge of double edged swords comes into play; at least in my Columbine experience…the not so nice edge.

Some pundits in local media and comments from their followers began taking on a more cynical and resentful tone. 

Chuck Green, an OpEd writer with the Denver Post, said the victims of Columbine were receiving and asking for more.

From the OpEd:

“There seems to be no limit.”

Also, from the OpEd:

“Yet the Columbine victims still have their hands out for more. When is enough enough?"

He followed up that OpEd with another: Enough milking of tragedy

From this OpEd:

“It seems a floodgate of resentment had been opened, and readers in droves vented their frustration.”

Mr. Green appears to imply in his OpEds that families of Columbine victims were trying to take advantage of tragedy that had befallen them. 

That was downright offensive.

I was angry and I responded: Columbine Dad rebukes Chuck Green.

From my OpEd:

“I would give everything we’ve received back in a heartbeat if only we could turn back the clock and prevent from happening what took place on April 20, 1999.”

Mr. Green did not respond.

Compassion coupled with resentment; a confusing and difficult challenge.

It was clear this event divided the Columbine community. 

Conversely, there are still times even today when people tell me they feel they didn’t do enough to help victim’s families.

When I hear from these folks, I’m stunned. I truly do not believe they could have done any more than they did to help.

On a personal level, divisiveness took its toll. There’s more to it than just that, but about two years after the event, I moved my family out of Littleton.

We moved into a small rural community where I felt we could finally breathe. I have no regrets for doing so.

In the months and years following Columbine, I’ve had to watch this very same scenario play out after far too many mass shootings; compassion rendered followed by compassion fatigue sometimes followed by resentment and, more often than not, followed by divisiveness.

My advice? 

Breathe, folks – breathe….

Compassion – A Double Edged Sword.

My two cents.

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